What I Learned in 2009

This is the year my eldest daughter got married and my youngest daughter graduated as a medical doctor. I also published another book. Actually Spiritual Formation on the Run came out in December last year but its publication date is January 2009 so I guess that counts. There are many highs and lows in the year but I wish to testify here to the goodness of Our Lord to my family and me. Here are some of the lessons and reflections of the year.

· I still hold to the idea of not making new year resolutions is a good one so that I will not be disappointed as I reflect on what has happened during the year.

· The more I serve in ministry in the forefront (preaching, teaching, eldership, writing, counselling etc) the more I want to retreat to the background. Each year the desire grows stronger to retreat and spent more time in contemplative prayer with God yet the Lord pushes me out with more challenges.

· I love teaching medical students as their youthful and sharp minds stimulate and challenge me. Yet I know I need to focus to do the work the Lord calls me to do which means I have to give up some of the things I have been doing even though it has been fruitful and beneficial to others.

· Offering spiritual leadership is difficult. My call to spiritual leadership is to introduce people to God and to deepen their spiritual life. Unfortunately many interpret spiritual leadership as having more programs, money, power, attendance and buildings.

· There is a very real danger to me that I talk and teach more about God than I actually talk and walk with God. I really need to spend more time in prayer and listening to God in the Bible.

· Every time I think I have made some spiritual progress in the growth of my soul, I backslide to square one. My inner struggles are mainly with pride, anger and patience. Kylie ereison.

· Walking my daughter down the aisle is a deep joyful stroll that concludes with a deep sorrow as I gave her away in marriage. The feeling is bitter-sweet as I release her to the next phase of her life and to accept the transition to the next phase of our relationship. I was in denial about the wedding for a long time. I am slowly learning how to relate with my adult children.

· Getting to know my son-in-law is interesting after I got over the shock of having a strange man wandering around in my house.

· It still trouble me what I think others think of me, but I am learning not to let it bother me.

· Being misunderstood is something that comes with the territory of a teacher/leader. People will only hear and read what they want to hear and read so I need to learn not to be too upset at being misunderstood. I need to remind myself to check whether I am pleasing the Lord or people. The temptation to please people is strong and so is the temptation to be popular.

· The pride I felt watching my second daughter ascend the stage to receive her bachelor degrees is humbled by the honour she showed us on stage by bowing in our direction (after the traditional first bow to the chancellor and the second bow to the dean of the medical school). This third bow is my daughters’ idea and I really appreciate the gesture.

· As my second daughter pick up the baton of practicing medicine, I wonder whether it is time that I lay down my own medical baton. Practicing medicine is fruitful and rewarding but is demanding and exhausting. I wonder if I have the energy to continue the practice.

· I find too much learning distances me from people. I prefer thinking about some obscure theological paradigm than interacting with people. And I prefer spending time in reading, writing and research than in building relationships with others.

· I look older than I am, and feel much older than I should. Yet there is this little mischievous little boy always lurking in the shadows

· I am deeply bothered by the state of my community, society, and country. I often feel despair but have never thought of leaving. In my despair I find hope in the Lord. Maranatha.

· I still have bouts of depression and suffer from dark nights of the senses and of the soul. I have learned in these times to sit, wait, and to embrace the darkness. The darkness of God brings light to the soul in due time.

· I discover that I am a systems thinker; seeing the big picture and able to find links between incongruent connections. However I am still hopeless with mental arithmetic and cannot calculate the correct change

· I need more bookshelves. Books, movies, computer games, and comics are still my love and joy.

· I enjoy travelling (this year we travelled to San Francisco, Shanghai, New Zealand, Australia) but I enjoy being at home more.

· My family time with my wife, daughters, son-in-law, god-children and grand god-children are the most precious time of all.

Macrina Wierderkehr in her poem O Pilgrim of the Hours express beautifully my reflection lessons for this year.

Each morning

night’s curtain

opens on a new day.

You are invited

to join the great opening.

Open your ears.

Open your heart.

Open your eyes

to the sacred path

you travel every day,

the path of the hours.

Greet the hours

with joyful awareness.

Greet the hours

with faithful presence.

Greet the hours

with a reverential bow.

Greet the hours

with a sacred pause.

Reverence each hour

as a small steeping stone

on your pilgrimage

through the day.

Receive the gift

of seven sacred pauses.

practice waking up seven times a day.

(Macrina Wiederkehr (2008), Seven Sacred Pauses, Notre Dame: Sorin Books, 16-17).

Soli Deo Gloria

Fifty Eight Years of a Religious Vow

Tuesday, December 15, 2009 is the day 58 years ago my dear spiritual friend and mentor, Dr Helen Rosenthal, RSJC said her first vows to enter the life of a religious. RSCJ stands for Religious of the Sacred Heart in Latin, French, Italian, and Spanish. Sister Helen, as she likes to be called, still teaches Christian Spirituality at St. Thomas University in Miami, Florida in the United States. She is 80 years old but look not a day older than 60 years. Her favourite book remains The Cloud of Unknowing.

She writes a regular blog making her one of the oldest blogger I know.

58th Anniversary of My First Vows

I remember this day so well. I had a marvelous private retreat before it and Jesus was so present to me and I kept asking Him to let me realize what I was really doing when I took my vows and consecrated my whole life to Him. As I had had all the sports for the high school and seventh and eighth grade for the whole of my second year as a novice, I was allowed to go talk to the children that afternoon. I still remember standing on a bench so they could all see me as they crowded into the locker room; they wanted to see my vow crucifix and. of course, they had been present that morning when we were given our black veils. It was the octave of the Feast of the Immaculate Conception and I had several days before going back to St. Louis to begin my active life as a religious.

I am privileged to have her for my spiritual friend, mentor and prayer partner. She is always an inspiration for me in her devotion to Jesus and her love for her fellow man and woman. Helen, you are truely the salt and light.

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The Long on North Island

Memories of New Zealand #5: New Friend, New Country


One of the highlight of my New Zealand trip is to meet my blogger and spiritual friend, Pastor Paul Long of Kelston Community Church in Auckland. Paul blogs at Paul Long's Rambling. It is a wonder of the Internet that though we have been friends for many years( even before he left Malaysia), we have never met in person before! So I have really been looking forward to meet my digital friend in the flesh.

I really appreciate Paul taking a drive from the east side of Auckland to where I was staying on the North Shore on an early Saturday morning. It was a great time of fellowship and we hit it off at once. No sense of awkwardness. It is wonderful to be in the company of a kindred spirit. He is very enthusiastic about his calling as a pastor to this church. He shared his hopes and aspirations for this community of faith that he is shepherding. I came away from that short time of fellowship with the impression that if I want anyone to be my pastor, Paul Long will be the one. The Kelston Community Church is blessed to have him as their pastor.

Here's what he writes about me:

...I had a nice though short visit with Dr. Alex last week (he was in Auckland for a couple of days on the way to Ozland). Now I know another reason why he is into spiritual formation ... he can really draw all kinds of stuff out of me! (like a therapist) LOL!! Positive stuff lah ... no laments! And he gave me a stack of "Spiritual Formation the Run". Will enjoy giving them away soon!!

Thanks, Paul for being my spiritual friend and my online community of faith. Good to meet you.

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My Second Daughter Graduates

Today my second daughter graduates. After seven years (one year for foundation and six for her basic degrees), she walks on the stage and receive her Bachelor of Medicine and Surgery (MBBS) and Bachelor of Medical Sciences (B.MSc) in the University of Melbourne in Melbourne, Australia today. It have been a hard and tiring journey for her and her family. We wish to express our joy and gratitude to God for his providence and protection. And we wish to express our thanks and gratitude to friends who has been praying for her and support her in so many ways.



Soli Deo Gloria

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Onward Christian Doctors

Congratulations to the pioneer batch of Christian doctors (some are not in the photo) from the Monash University Malaysia. They graduated this week and will start to serve in the medical profession soon. Some will start their house officer jobs in Australia while others will remain in Malaysia. God's blessings to them all.

Lord God, giver of all good things,
may we who share at this table,
like pilgrims here on earth,
be welcomed with Your saints
to the heavenly feast.

Amen

(A Hebridean Grace)

Second Printing of Spiritual Formation on the Run

My book, Spiritual Formation on the Run has been selling steadily since it's launch in January this year. Many persons have been blessed by reading it and I am so happy. I pray that the Lord will continue to use the book to touch lives.

2nd print of the books arrived today.


I hope you will support the ministry by buying copies for friends to give as Christmas presents.
I do not receive a single cent from my writing and publishing. The proceeds for this book goes to support the 1st Johor Bahru Boys Brigade's activities.

You can order copies from your local bookstores (it will help me if you ask them to order if they do not have stock), Amazon.com or from me via draltang@yahoo.com




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A New Addition to My Family

My new pet. A solid black German Shepherd (Alsatian) 4 months old puppy.





Black Shepherds are rare.

I shall call him...Kuro Beowulf!

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On My Pastor's Retirement

rain water wind blows,
plants fruit,
in the garden of the minds,
single water droplet falls,
pond calm surface calls,
in mind like living waters,
ripple widens,
outward forever flows.

Nicholas Yeo has been pastoring Holy Light Church (English) for 36 years. He was appointed as preacher in the Presbyterian church in 1973 and ordained in 1979. He retired on 1st October 2009.

author’s notes:

“rain” falls on all persons. The bible states that God allows rain to fall on the “just” and the “unjust.” This also shows the extend of Nicholas’ ministry which extends to Christians and non-Christians alike.

“water” signifies life. It is a life-giving work that Nicholas has been involved with all these years. Thirty six years is a long time. It reflects the character of a person and the strength of his calling.

“wind blows” – the Greek for Spirit is pneuma which is often translated as breath or wind. This indicates the influence of the Holy Spirit in Nicholas’ ministry. As at times, the direction in which the wind blows is unpredictable, as does the direction the Holy Spirit has led Nicholas’ ministry.

“plants fruit” shows the importance of investing in human beings. Plants are used to represent people in Nicholas’ ministry while fruit may be self-development of these people to fulfil their personal destinies. It also indicates the fruit of the Holy Spirit of their lives.

“in the garden of the minds” is where the battleground is. His teaching and caring ministry may be likened to a gardener caring for a garden. The planting, tilling, watering, prunings are conducive to growth as in the light from the Son.

“single water droplet falls, pond calm surface calls” is the imagery of a drop of water falling on the placid calm surface of a pond or a lake. A ripple forms and widens in concentric circles outwards. His ministry is like a drop of water in God’s redemptive plan.


“in mind like living waters, ripple widens, outward forever flows.” No one but God will know the effect of each individual action or act of kindness. Like as ripple in the lake spreading ever outwards, causing secondary ripples and so on, Nicholas’ ministry has far reaching circumstances that no one will know.

I dedicate this to the man and his wife who serve their God well.

San Francisco

Off to San Francisco we go....

Golden Gate Bridge, Fort Point, San Francisco, CA
Originally uploaded by matt.keebler@gmail.com

Images from a Church Camp

a wonderful quiet time on the beach reading psalms in the early morning

a powerful experience of the sunrise

learning from one another

sharing

a small young church with a big heart

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Prayer of the Father of the Bride

The pomp and ceremonies of the wedding are over, the last revelers have gone home and the young couple has embarked on their honeymoon. Here am I, O Lord, sitting quietly before you. I wish to thank you for the privilege of being the father of the bride. My heart is bursting with gratitude that come from your wonderful generosity. When I first held my little girl in my arms - so small, warm, fragile and beautiful – I know that it is pure grace that brought her into my life. As I watch her grow from a baby to childhood and gradually blossom into womanhood, I can feel your presence in our little family and your smile upon us all. Father, I confess that I have not been a good father but I have been trying my best. For whatever my shortcomings have been in bringing her up, I trust in your Holy Spirit to fill in the gaps.

Father, I pray that you will help her to become the helpmate to the man you have so carefully chosen for her. Let them be anamcara to each other. Now, they have to learn from each other. Please give them lots of grace for each occasion, overflowing with forgiveness, and joy in their new life together. May their love grow into hesed love – a covenant love of commitment.

As they grow closer to each other, let them grow closer to you, O Lord, the originator and finisher of their faith. And as they begin their journey together, may they partake of the goodness of your table fellowship, drink deep of your living water, and dive deep into your fathomless depths. You are a self-revealing God. Please help them to appreciate your presence in their everyday life. May they grow in their marriage as they grow deeper into knowing and becoming like your Son. Yet in their growing, let them allow one another to reach their full potential as themselves, not as each other’s expectation, but as their own unique personalities.

As you have taught us, there is a season for everything. There will be times of great rejoicing and there will be times of great sorrow. Here, in the springtime of their marriage, give them joy as they discover the pleasures of each other. Protect them with your angels and build a hedge around them that they may be safe from pettiness and violence of this world. Lead them to your communities of faith that will nurture and nourish them in all ways. Give them a sense of vocation and involve them in your missio dei.

Father, help me to ‘let go’ of my little girl and to welcome a new ‘son’ into my family. It is a time of transition for me and my joy is bitter-sweet. This is a new experience for me though I know that many fathers have walked this path through time immemorial. I must now take on a different role. Teach me, O Lord, to be a blessing to them.

18 July 2009

Butterfly Kisses

There’s two things I know for sure:
She was sent here from heaven and she’s
daddy’s little girl.
As I drop to my knees by her bed at night
She talks to Jesus and I close my eyes and
I thank god for all the joy in my life
Oh, but most of all
For butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer;

sticking little white flowers all up in her
hair; “Walk beside the pony, Daddy, it’s my first ride.”
“I know the cake looks funny, Daddy, but I sure tried.”
In all that I’ve done wrong I know I must
have done something right to deserve a hug
every morning and butterfly kisses at night.

Sweet 16 today
She’s looking like her mama a little more everyday
One part woman, the other part girl.
To perfume and make-up from ribbons and curls
Trying her wings out in a great big world.

But I remember
Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer; sticking
little white flowers all up in her hair.
“You know how much I love you, Daddy, But if you
don’t mind I’m only gonna kiss you on the cheek this time.”
With all that I’ve done wrong I must have done
something right to deserve her love every morning
and butterfly kisses at night.

All the precious time
Like the wind, the years go by.
Precious butterfly.
Spread your wings and fly.

She’ll change her name today.
She’ll make a promise and I’ll give her away.
Standing in the bride-room just staring at her.
She asked me what I’m thinking and I said “I’m not
sure-I just feel like I’m losing my baby girl.”
She leaned over…gave me butterfly kisses with her mama there,
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair
“Walk my down the aisle, Daddy-it’s just about time.”
“Does my wedding gown look pretty, Daddy? Daddy, don’t cry!”

Oh, with all that I’ve done wrong I must have
done something right.
To deserve your love every morning and butterfly
kisses-I couldn’t ask God for more, man this is what love is.

I know I gotta let her go, but I’ll always remember
every hug in the morning and butterfly kisses.

Teaching Module on Certificate Child Health

An enjoyable time of teaching a module for the Certificate of Child Studies for the Malaysia Baptist Theological Seminary at their Johor Bahru centre.

May God bless their ministries with children.

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A 'Quiet' Day in STM (4)

The Three Amigos



spiritual theology bridging the gap between New Testament and Old Testament?

Ordination of Reverend Dr Lim Kar Yong Today

This is the prayer of a man called to be a witness to the nations. This is what he said to his Lord on the day of his ordination. After the elders and ministers had prayed and laid their hands on him he withdrew to meet his Saviour in the secret place and in the silence, farther in than his well-meaning brethren could take him. And he said:

O Lord, I have heard Thy voice and was afraid. Thou hast called me to an awesome task in a grave and perilous hour. Thou are about to shake all nations and the earth and also heaven, that the things that cannot be shaken may remain. O Lord, our Lord, Thou has stopped to honor me to be Thy servant. No man takes this honor upon himself save he that is called of God as was Aaron. Thou has ordained me Thy messenger to them that are stubborn of heart and hard of hearing. They have rejected Thee, the Master, and it is not to be expected that they will receive me, the servant.

My God, I shall not waste time deploring my weakness nor my unfittedness for the work. The responsibility is not mine but Thine. Thou hast said, “I knew thee—I ordained thee—I sanctified thee,” and Thou has also said, “Thou shalt go to all that I shall send thee, and whatsoever I command thee thou shalt speak.” Who am I to argue with Thee or to call into question Thy sovereign choice? The decision is not mine but Thine. So be it, Lord. Thy will, not mine, be done.
Well do I know, Thou God of the prophets and the apostles, that as long as I honor Thee Thou wilt honor me. Help me therefore to take this solemn vow to honor Thee in all my future life and labors, whether by gain or by loss, by life or by death, and then to keep that vow unbroken while I live.

It is time, O God, for Thee to work, for the enemy has entered into Thy pastures and the sheep are torn and scattered. And false shepherds abound who deny the danger and laugh at the perils which surround Thy flock. The sheep are deceived by these hirelings and follow them with touching loyalty while the wolf closes in to kill and destroy. I beseech Thee, give me sharp eyes to detect the presence of the enemy; give me understanding to distinguish the false friend from the true. Give me vision to see and courage to report what I see faithfully. Make my voice so like Thine own that even the sick sheep will recognize it and follow Thee.

Lord Jesus, I come to Thee for spiritual preparation. Lay Thy hand upon me. Anoint me with the oil of the New Testament prophet. Forbid that I should become a religious scribe and thus lose my prophetic calling. Save me from the curse that lies dark across the face of the modern clergy, the curse of compromise, of imitation, of professionalism. Save me from the error of judging a church by its size, its popularity or the amount of its yearly offering. Help me to remember that I am a prophet; not a promoter, not a religious manager—but a prophet. Let me never become a slave to crowds. Heal my soul of carnal ambitions and deliver me from the itch for publicity. Save me from the bondage to things. Let me not waste my days puttering around the house. Lay Thy terror upon me, O God, and drive me to the place of prayer where I may wrestle with principalities and powers and the rulers of the darkness of this world. Deliver me from overeating and late sleeping. Teach me self-discipline that I may be a good soldier of Jesus Christ.

I accept hard work and small rewards in this life. I ask for no easy place. I shall try to be blind to the little ways that I could make my life easier. If others seek the smoother path I shall try to take the hard way without judging them too harshly. I shall expect opposition and try to take it quietly when it comes. Or if, as sometimes it falleth out to Thy servants, I shall have grateful gifts pressed upon me by Thy kindly people, stand by me then and save me from the blight that often follows. Teach me to use whatever I receive in such manner that it will not injure my soul nor diminish my spiritual power. And if in Thy permissive providence honor should come to me from Thy church, let me not forget in that hour that I am unworthy of the least of Thy mercies, and that if men knew me as intimately as I know myself they would withhold their honors or bestow them upon others more worthy to receive them.

And now, O Lord of heaven and earth, I consecrate my remaining days to Thee; let them be many or few, as Thou wilt. Let me stand before the great or minister to the poor and lowly; that choice is not mine, and I would not influence it if I could. I am Thy servant to do Thy will, and that will is sweeter to me than position or riches or fame and I choose it above all things on earth or in heaven. Though I am chosen of Thee and honored by a high and holy calling, let me never forget that I am but a man of dust and ashes, a man with all the natural faults and passions that plague the race of men. I pray Thee therefore, my Lord and Redeemer, save me from myself and from all the injuries I may do myself while trying to be a blessing to others. Fill me with thy power by the Holy Spirit, and I will go in Thy strength and tell of Thy righteousness, even Thine only. I will spread abroad the message of redeeming love while my normal powers endure.

Then, dear Lord, when I am old and weary and too tired to go on, have a place ready for me above, and make me to be numbered with Thy saints in glory everlasting. Amen."

From A Passion For God: The Spiritual Journey of A. W. Tozer by Lyle Dorsett (Chicago, IL; Moody, 2008), pp. 65-68.

Something for Me

Thanks, Sora. I needed that.

Something for Me

Thanks, Sora. I needed that.

More about Book Gifts

I am forever indebted to my good friend and fellow spiritual seeker of Truth, Punna, for his generous gifts of books over the years. His books, CDs, and email has helped me a lot on my road to enlightenment.

Thanks, Punna. I am looking forward to more books (ahem. Not fully enlightened yet)

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More about Book Gifts

I am forever indebted to my good friend and fellow spiritual seeker of Truth, Punna, for his generous gifts of books over the years. His books, CDs, and email has helped me a lot on my road to enlightenment.

Thanks, Punna. I am looking forward to more books (ahem. Not fully enlightened yet)

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Book Gifts

I love book gifts. A few days ago, RBC Ministries (publisher of The Daily Bread) and Discovery House Publishers gave me these three books in appreciation.